A Few Little Misunderstandings
by Blue-Jellee
Summary: Oneshot. Duo overhears something and interprets it the whole wrong way. RR please. Rated M for sexual references.


A Few Little Misunderstandings

By Blue Jellee

Disclaimer: If you seriously think I own Gundam Wing, please tell me what drug you're on – I wanna go on it too.

It was a Saturday night; a night of parties and fun for everyone (AN: I didn't mean for that to rhyme.. Vv'), and true to the word, everybody was partying; Relena Darlian amongst them. Seriously, who said that the Vice Foreign Minister wasn't allowed to part-ayy?

She was at this club, out with a few friends, including a person who was a little-more-than-a-friend; who she didn't want to admit was a little-more-than-a-friend - but everybody saw through that, seriously, the way Heero Yuy and Relena Darlian _looked _at each other – and she was having quite the time of her life.

It was around 9pm – the time this little story gets a little more interesting – when Relena felt something wet in her underwear (AN: oh get your minds out of the gutter would you?). She immediately remembered she was due for her period. 'Oh SH!&!' Relena thought. 'Why now? Why now? WHY NOW?'.

She immediately grabbed her friend Hilde's arm, to drag her into the ladies room with her. She noticed that Hilde was very reluctant to come.

"Oh come on! I need you! I've got my period and blood is practically gushing out of my vaginal hole" Relena shouted at the back of Hilde's arm, still pulling on her arm. "Hurry up! I – Need – To – Borrow – A – Tampon – From – You - Hilde".

Hilde said something, though Relena didn't understand what. It was about this time when Relena realised the deep voice coming from 'Hilde', didn't sound at all like Hilde. Did she have a cold?

"What is _wrong _with you?" Relena shrieked. "Come on, I need to go to the ladies room. Having a little vaginal problem here!"

'Hilde' spoke rather quickly. "You want me to go to the ladies room with you? That's so sweet. But why don't you invite someone.. I dunno.. a little more _feminine _to go with you?" 'Hilde' put a lot of emphasis on the word feminine.

"Wha-?" Relena gasped as 'Hilde' turned around.

"DUO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? OH MY GOD! I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY PERIOD AND EVERYTHING! OH MY GOD!" Relena screamed loudly.

Nobody moved; the whole club was silent – well the people were anyway – the music was still thumpin' on.

Relena's face turned red. "Oh.. my… I need to sit down". Relena rushed to the ladies room. The club erupted with noise after she left.

"Well, I never knew I looked like a chick" Duo said out loud, though nobody heard him. "Though I'd rather be the real thing, if you ask me. Two bouncy things to play with(AN: God.. how retarded does that sound!)."

To move on, the real Hilde had noticed the whole scene and rushed after Relena. Duo saw her go and decided to follow. He put his long hair down and pretended to be a chick; he got away with it too. He walked straight into the ladies room and settled nicely in one of the vacant stalls. He could hear every word Hilde and Relena were saying.

"God, I got blood everywhere. Would you look at that? I swear, I feel so dirty right now" Duo recognised Relena's voice as the one who spoke. Hilde's voice followed.

"Oh don't worry, babe. We'll clean you right up".

Maybe it was just his masculinity wondering, or maybe just a general thought; but did all females talk like this to each other when they were alone? It was kinda.. a little kinky. Heero surely never called him _babe. _Well of course Heero didn't. Wufei might. Someday. Maybe. Whatever. His thoughts were interrupted by Relena's voice.

"Oh girl, don't touch there, you'll get blood all over you."

"Do you want me to help you clean yourself up or not?" Hilde's voice was gentle, yet straightforward. Duo couldn't help but get a little excited over this conversation; they sounded like they were doing a little more than just 'cleaning Relena up'.

"Hilde, don't touch there. You know my clitoris gets all sensitive when I have my period. It makes me get horny".

"I didn't mean to touch there, I was just wiping the blood away." Hilde's voice got quieter. "I'm just going to bend down to see if I can push the tampon in without it hurting, okay?"

Duo smiled, as his male brain was thinking suspicious things. Relena's voice continued.

"Ow, that hurt, Hilde. Don't push your fingers up there too hard. You know that hurts".

"I'm sorry, babe. But seriously, I'm going to have to push it up a little further this time, or else it might just come out, and that wouldn't be good, would it?".

Relena's voice responded harshly. "You hurt me, girl, and I won't be pleasurable with you anymore. Got it?".

"Yeah, yeah, whatever babe. Do you want me to stop the blood flow or not?"

"Yes, just hurry up and get your fingers inside of me".

Duo froze at that one. He was seriously thinking they were doing a little more than just putting the tampon in.

He could hear grunts every now and then coming from Relena; he was fully smiling now, and he was definitely enjoying himself – a glance downwards confirmed that.

"Ahhh" the sound escaped from Relena's mouth as she realised it was all over. "Thanks, Hilde. You're the only one who is able to get it inside of me and out without hurting me too much".

"No problem, Relena" Hilde's voice sounded happy. "You're lucky your jeans escaped blood stain. Lucky thing".

"Yeah. We'll just have to get out of here. But firstly…"

Duo couldn't heard what Relena said next, as he only heard muttering. Finally, he could understand what they were saying. And…….. uh-oh.

"DUO, WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THAT CUBICLE _RIGHT_ NOW!"

He heard giggling. There was no way he was escaping this. He had no choice. He opened the cubicle.

There was more giggling as he stepped out of the cubicle. The giggling turned into full laughter as the girls got a better look of him.

After a few minutes, Hilde was able to stop laughing. "You idiot, Duo. We know you've been in there the whole time, that's why we made what we were doing a little more sexual" the giggling continued. "And, we've noticed you fell for it too". Both Relena and Hilde glanced downwards on Duo's anatomy, and fell into fits of giggles again.

'Well, my life is over' Duo thought. The giggling continued.

The End. I wrote this in one night because I was so bored and I was doing a hair treatment.. so I needed something to pass time. It's a little strange, I know. Please R/R.


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